Wisdom

“A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love,

 listens but doesn’t believe,

 & leaves before she is left."

— Marilyn Monroe

He's Just Not That Into You

Gigi: "Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs & someday you will meet a wonderful guy & get your very own happy ending. 

Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. 

How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay & the ones who will leave. & maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces & starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. 

Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders & misread signals, through all the pain & embarrassment.... you never gave up hope."

I Haven't Had A Dream Since That Night

i tried you on for size and you fit very well. i thought that this could turn into something quite beautiful, and i tried to make it so. maybe that’s where i went wrong in the first place. i wanted to build a castle on a foundation of sand; eventually the tides always have their way.

still, i wanted you to see me the same way that i saw you. i wanted to know my efforts would be worth it in the end. it’s scary how easily we can fool ourselves.

Adventureland

The Invention of Solitude

So, I was delaying on writing this blog. I'm not sure why. I guess, the moment I write that what happened and the truth of it all, it's set in stone. Blogger stone. & nothing can ever change. I will always have proof and I have to move on. That's always been my problem, I can never really move on the right way. Maybe, this is my test. My test of my maturity. 

Well, it was official, Gatsby never liked me. Well I think at this point I can refer to him as his real name...Mike. That shouldn't be as dramatic as I made it seem. Hah. Anyways, so apparently, it was all a "I hook up when I'm drunk" kind of thing. However, I'm a really cool girl. I don't know. I mean it's my own fault for holding on for so long.  I don't hate him for any of it. I'm mad at myself for building this guy up on nothing solid and holding out for so long. Opportunities didn't really present themselves regardless. I should never hold myself back from meeting people, even when I am with someone. 

But, anyways, I built this kid up to be something amazing. Something special. He was just a guy. A cool guy, no lie. But nothing that would challenge me. I'm not his type. Apparently my weird style and outspoken antics isn't his thing. He actually likes Lauren's friend. But that's beside the point. He doesn't, and never did like me. At least I know. It hurts. I'm not going to lie. Especially when everyone I practically know has someone and even the assholes who don't deserve (Hairo) are happy. I mean, everyone deserves to happy. I'm just a bit bitter. But yeah, I'm alone. Officially. With no prospects as of right now. I wonder what could of changed from his initial attraction to me to saying "yeah, she's not my type." 

It's over and in the past now. My plan is to just be normal with him now. He can never know he had any sort of effect on me. I will never give a guy the satisfaction of knowing he had any effect on me like that.  That gives him power. Maybe, he'll regret it. Maybe, he'll see me different. I'm not holding my breathe on it. I did with Hairo for so long. I could never let go and moved past it. I constantly thought, he'll regret and come back. I'll be here, waiting, to laugh in his face, to say "you missed out!" But he never did, and I was the fool. Mike sees me as a friend, and I'll grow to like him as a friend. It's always better to be friends. It always last longer than as lovers.

Another one bites the dust and I'm left alone to find my way through the smog. I have before and this time wasn't even serious. I just liked him a lot. If I'm meant to be single, then so be it. I'm fine on my own. I can live my life. If someone who's special comes by and sees me for what I can offer, then cool. I'll continue to go on. 

Who wants to sing "Benny & the Jets" with me on top of a bar? Or watch Wall-E with? Or like my erratic taste in music? The fact that I sometimes don't match? That I'm not conventionally  sexy? Thinks its awesome that I like dancing like a freak? Get that snuggling is sometimes uncomfortable and I need my own space? That think Yankees are the shit? That want to drive me home every night and wait until I get inside the house before they pull out of the drive-way?

That's my kind of guy.

& I Quote...

I'm Still Growing Everyday

Brave

U + ME = US

High School Musical

Look Alive

"You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. 

Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, 

that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness.

 The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death):

 absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death.

 Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car.

 They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place,

 a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken."

— Anais Nin

It Is What It Is

Goofy

"Seriously it's kind of appealing when you put a fun twist on it: 

no drama, no concerns, bed a little earlier, dance like a freak, & flirt with everyone."

First Week, & I'm Already Doing It

I Can Play The Game Better

Hollywood Kiss

There's one condition.

"I know you don't believe in fairy tales. But, if you did, I'd want to be your knight in shining armor. You've been through so much. I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Now I may not be able to give you all that your used to. But I do know I can love you past your pain. I don't want you to worry about anything. You just wake up in the morning, that's all you have to do and I'll take it from there."

-Diary of A Mad Black Woman

Stupid.

" i always tend to fall for that one guy who is out of reach, but still close enough to make it hurt."

"Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path.

No one wants their life thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded.

Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.

Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it - which of these two attitudes is the least destructive?

I don’t know."

— Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho

Blink - It's Gone

Summer is arriving too soon, 

and I'm afraid that before I know it, 

it'll be gone in a blink of an eye.

I was already feeling like I had waited forever for it to get here, 

and now that it’s here, all I want is to make it last as long as I could.

Coincidentally, this is also how I felt about you.

This Weekend

Charlie

T.Swift

"To me, “Fearless” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. 

To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. 

To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. 

Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. 

Fearless is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. 

Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again, 

even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. 

It’s fearless to have faith that someday, things will change. 

Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. 

I think it’s fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. 

And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, 

I think it’s fearless to stop believing them. It’s fearless to say “you’re not sorry,” and walk away.

 I think loving someone despite of what people think is fearless.

 I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. 

Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being alright..that’s fearless too!

 But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. 

You have to believe in love stories and Prince Charmings and happily ever after."

Forever Inside

Strictly Physical

Reach For The Stars

Mixtapes

My Future Home

H.W.R.

"But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on."

Tomorrow

I Wish This Everyday

LIFE

SEX. Zefron <3

ACT

Slow Jams.

Weezy Domination

"so what do i do with all the love i have? send it to the skies?

 write it in every surface possible for strangers to see? 

what you don’t seem to have realized is that this love was meant for you, 

for you to feel that. yes, i would give up everything for you if needed. 

but of course, you don’t want it, 

so now i am left with suitcases of this love-turned-heartbreak 

while waiting in the rain for someone else to come fetch me instead.”

Angels and Demons

The Great Gatsby

Sometimes I like to imagine how wonderful it would be to go to the places we’ve never gone together — and I’m not talking about far away lands, or amazing vacations that we may never be able to afford, I’m talking about going to the supermarket and picking out our favorite foods to snack on and sneakinag them into the movies during the daytime where we would choose the emptiest theater not so that we could do the things that most people do in private, but so that we could feel like the whole room was a room of our own.

I’m talking about calling in sick and taking the whole day just to walk around the American Museum of Natural History or maybe the MoMA, where I would make you stand next to the “OOF“ painting and have you position yourself as a letter that wouldn’t even make any sense next to the painting because together, we don’t make sense, but deep down inside, that’s what made us our best.

I’m talking about walking into Battery Park (not Central Park because I know how much you hate uptown) and just laying on the grass sharing a pair of headphones listening to each other’s favorite songs and hating each other’s musical taste, but going along with it anyway, because it made us feel like we’re discovering pieces of each other we never knew about.

I’m talking about sitting, eating what could only be the best-falafels-in-the-world, on steps in front of someone else’s apartment like we lived there just because it was across from the food stand you kept insisting I needed to try out because somehow you knew it would be something I’d like, and maybe one day, we’d decide right there and then to ride all the subway lines from beginning to end together so afterwards, I’d have a story to tell; that you were the only guy who took me as far as the city would go and back and although it wouldn’t be all that far, I would still say you were the best traveling partner anyone could ever have.

I’m talking about you coming on an adventure with me in exploring my room, my bed, what it’s like to wrestle underneath my pixel-patterned sheets, or how it feels to be enveloped by the thousands of pillows I can’t sleep without.

I’m talking about how sometimes my imagination gets the best of me and runs away with the feelings of my heart and wishes I could have had all these experiences with you — because these made-up memories will never do. & with your sudden departure, it only leaves me wondering if it really could have been that good.

Him.

"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. 

But if you can’t handle me at my worst, 

then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best."

— Marilyn Monroe

Everyday

Words To Live By

Because, it is your life.

Sloth loves Nelly

Me

You were born an original.

Don't die a copy.

John Mason

You.

each friend represents a world in us, 

a world possibly not born until they arrive, 

and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

-anais nin

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

I'll Let You Be My Man

One and Only

Tupac Shakur

Robert Allen Zimmerman

You had me at "Do I Know You?"

Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say goodbye. I hate goodbyes. I know what I need; I need more hellos.”

- Charlie Brown

Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes

Almost Famous

Jeff Bebe: Some people have a hard time explaining rock 'n' roll. I don't think anyone can really explain rock 'n' roll. Maybe Pete Townshend, but that's okay. Rock 'n' roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking... and it's not about money and popularity. Although, some money would be nice. But it's a voice that says, "Here I am... and fuck you if you can't understand me." And one of these people is gonna save the world. And that means that rock 'n' roll can save the world... all of us together. And the chicks are great. But what it all comes down to is that thing. The indefinable thing when people catch something in your music. 

Delusional

Love is Fleeting

"I want to be free of you… 

the way you, obviously, are free of me.”

— The Count of Monte Cristo

My Mom Said "I Love You" Today

Fairytale

Ginger Ale

"To get out there today and be full out! Give all of yourself to this amazing day. I said to a friend of mine recently, that I wish I could just fast forward the next few months, and in turn they said to me. I'm sorry you feel that way, but do not spend all your time wishing time away, life is only a precious few moments and will be gone before you know it. So true."

full out! fearless!

New York Art

June 6th

See You Again

Try A Bit of Tenderness