Johnny Depp

On The Road

Deception

Today I realized that no matter what, I will always love you. You will always be my first love, real true love, and you will always set the standards for everyone else I am ever with.

I’m not going to try to control my thoughts anymore, I’m just going to accept that living with thoughts of you and us and our somehow failed relationship is how my life will be. And I will try my hardest to not think about you not thinking about me.

I Wait For This

The Way I See It

Sex On Fire

500 Days of Summer

"I like being on my own. Relationships are messy and people’s feelings get hurt. Who needs it? We’re young, we live in the one of the most beautiful cities in the world, we might as well have fun when we can, and save the serious stuff for later."

New Perspective

Can we fast-forward to go down on me?
Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
And I’ll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

Echo

"There's something about the look in your eyes
Something I noticed when the light was just right
It reminded me twice that I was alive
And it reminded me that you're so worth the fight

My biggest fear will be the rescue of me
Strange how it turns out that way, yeah

Could you show me dear... Something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting
Could you show me dear... Something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting

Theres something about the way you move
I see your mouth in slow motion when you sing
More subtle than something someone contrives
Your movements echo that I have seen the real thing

Your biggest fear will be the rescue of you
Strange how it turns out that way, yeah

Could you show me dear... Something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting
Could you show me dear... Something I've not seen?
Something infinitely interesting"

I remember when you use to sing this to me,well hummed this because you were so shy to sing past a whisper. I loved it, especially nights when I couldn't sleep. Whenever I think of this song and many others from them, I go back to you. He reminds me so much of you, and I'm afraid to fuck it up again, so I just left before anything could happen. Should I believe in myself more? I feel a bit lost in this part of my life.

Love and Other Disasters

Jacks: Stop living your life like you're in some kind of movie.

Peter: Excuse me?

Jacks: Stop trying to cast your love instead of just meeting him.

Peter: When I meet him, I'll know.

Jacks: I'm not so sure. Love isn't always a lightning bolt, you know? Maybe sometimes it's just a choice.

Peter: Well, that's easy for you to say! You're flying to Argentina to meet the love of your life!

Jacks: That's just it. I don't know that Paolo's the love of my life, but I've decided to give him the chance to be. Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody. Without worrying wether they'll give anything back. Or if they're gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn't something that happens to you. Maybe it's something you have to choose.

Peter: So what do I do?

Jacks: Well, you could start by putting all of those fantasies of true love where they belong, into your work of fiction.

Time Has Passed

There are so many things I want to say to you, but time’s caught me up and now I’ll never say them — except that I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you and every moment since. — Robin Hood

Relationships of the Past

Tom: What happened, why didn’t they work out?

Summer: What always happens? Life.

Competition Over.

Maybe it is time to say goodbye. I know it’s been years since then, but I never thought until now that our story had an end.. at least not one without a you & I.

Ugh.

The hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them, in fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn’t want to ever forget that. — The Notebook

Personal Brand of Heroin

I sometimes wish I could talk to you with out having feelings come back. I try to avoid you, you are the worst person for me. But you are a drug, and I'm fully addicted.

Hickey.

Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.

— Robert Sexton

Sweet Nights

Looking For It

How It Is

Happiness

I Dig My Toes Into The Sand

Italy<3

Wild Hearts

The Devil And His Mistress

i saw him and her tonight for the first time since they first became an item. i was very nervous and unsure of how i was going to handle it. a part of me was looking for me to catch him looking at me or some sort of outreach to me. but that never happened. i'm not heartbroekn over it. i have to remind myself that it's not him. it's the fact that i feel the sting of loneliness. the loneliness that explodes when i'm in situation like that..when i watch a good movie...when i stand in a party lookign for hand to grab. tonight i kept grabbing jaber's hand. i just want to feel someone's else warmth. i told him how i was feeling. he said i was ridiculous. i cant really explain to him that it's not about hairo. it's the competition with them. however, as a single i think i held myself better than she did. especially when he would leave her and she would run after him....that was a bit amusing. she looked good though, and i felt fat. but it's really a competition. it makes me miss having a guy.

i miss feez...in general. it's been about three weeks since i last saw him. it sucks cause there's colin. and hes so cute and ive always liked him, but i dont have the wild butterflies that i get with feez. i dont understand that it's been a year and i still like this kid. how pathetic! i wish things would work out better. even if its not ideal. its something for me to enjoy, to have fun with. but it wont happen...

i never wanted to be the girl who depended on a guy to be happy again. and i am happy for the most part. 99% percent of the time...

it's that fucking 1% that kills my insides.

I Wrote This For You

Just like you mistook lust for love, you have mistaken being alone with loneliness. So I'm fine. Thank you for asking.

& That's How It's Done

I like him. But I loved you. I was so in love with you. I let you go because I had to. Because it hurt too much. I needed to be able to look at you and still see this great guy that was trustworthy and understanding. I needed to be able to look at you and see my best friend, not just another person who let me down. I moved on, yes, but that doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten. And that doesn’t mean that I won’t be here anymore if you ever want to come back. — Sarah Logan

How To Lose A Guy

I don’t know what to say anymore. You’re life is wonderful, and my life is quite amazing. I want to say that whole fight was for the best. That all those tears were suppose to happen. All those people dragged into our situation were suppose to come and be there for us.

But I miss you, I miss our laughs and wrestling matches at lunch. I miss calling you at 10:30 and talking until 2 in the morning even if we weren’t dating. I miss getting so much helpful advice and denying it because I thought I didn’t need any of it, but if you think about it, I”ve been taking all that advice lately, and it’s saving myself from death.

I want our friendship back. If not a friendship at least a smile or a wave every time I pass you, and maybe, just maybe it can grow back into a hug, but I promise no more than that.

I know that, that last road was rocky and broken, but trust me, I’ve paved over the road ahead of us. Just take my hand and trust me again, please?

Green Screen

I finally finished my room. Well actually the only thing left to do is get pictures for the wall strip. THEN, I'll be done! Woot! I love my room. It's so different from before. Fresh start.

I was realizing today that my easy going attitude has been taken advantage of lately. I know I don't necessary get mad as much as I probably should. I joke around being pissed off at my friends a lot but I'm never been mad at anyone. Trust me, you'll know when I'm mad. I haven't been mad...in years. To be completely honest. But I guess lately, my patience has been pushed. I spent years being mad over something that in the end wasn't worth it. So I really don't sweat the small stuff. I guess the small jabs at me by my friends have been the tipping stones.

The "hipster" calls especially. I don't know why it bothers me so much but it does. I'm not a hipster, you wanna see a hipster? Hang out with my friend Chris in Boston. Or hang out with most of the kids in the music industry school at Northeastern....yeah, those are hipsters. Apparently, I can't walk around wearing a fedora or listen to punk bands. Also, my "hipster" side comes out with I'm drunk? Oh really? Yeah, it fucking annoys me. Because I know half the shit being said isn't really coming from her but her boyfriend. A boy that happens to want to beat the shit out of one of my best guy friends and never makes an effort to know her friends. I don't understand those kinds of relationships. If I ever get in a relationship again, and decide to lock myself away with the guy from all social contact and only come out when he goes away, someone shoot me. I think the final straw came yesterday when I was being made fun of because my favorite band split. Me and other 14 year olds would have to deal with apparently. Fuck that, yeah I know a majority of their fans are younger than me. But how they appreciate their music and how i appreciate their music is a completely different level. Stop judging me when especially you of ALL PEOPLE know I never judge your lifestyle or decisions. I'm not a fucking hipster because I play around with fashion and I'm not a hipster because I don't only listen to Top 40 Hits music. My exploration in fashion, music, artists, art, and different parts of our cultures will make me a better writer in the end.

Besides that, there has been several instances from various people pushing my generosity. I think I also been taking it out on my mother in hopes to avoid confrontation between anyone else. However, I do believe that if I do hear another comment like the ones recently...I will be forced to react.

I feel better just ranting on here. I know it's nothing serious.

I have to sleep now. I've been thinking about the boy a lot today. And no, it's not the right one. But, maybe, just maybe...this time I'll know better.

Mr. Big: What would you come back as?
Carrie: Someone who knows better.

Great...Gatsby

Top down in the summer sun
The day we met was like a hit and run
And I still taste it on my tongue
The sky was burning up like fireworks
So many want you oh so bad it hurts
But girl, in case you haven't heard

I used to be love drunk
But now I'm hungover
Love is forever
Forever is over
We used to kiss all night
Now it's just a barfight
So just call me crazy
Say hello then goodbye
There's just one thing
That would make me say
I used to be love drunk
But now I'm hungover
Love is forever
But now it's over

Hot sweat and blurry eyes
We're spinning on a roller coaster ride
With the world stuck in black and white
You drove me crazy every time we touched
Now im so broken that i can't get up
Oh girl, you make me such a rush

I used to be love drunk
But now I'm hungover
Love is forever
Forever is over
We used to kiss all night
Now it's just a barfight
So just call me crazy
Say hello then goodbye
There's just one thing
That would make me say
I used to be love drunk
But now I'm hungover
Love is forever
But now it's over

All the time I wasted on you
All the bullshit you put me through
I'm checking into rehab
Cause everything that we had
Didn't mean a thing to you

I used to be love drunk
Love is forever
But now it's over

I used to be love drunk
But now I'm hungover
Love is forever
Forever is over
We used to kiss all night
Now it's just a barfight
So just call me crazy
Say hello then goodbye
There's just one thing
That would make me say
I used to be love drunk
But now I'm hungover
Love is forever
But now it's over


Now it's over
Still taste it on my tongue
Now it's over

Floorset from Hell

I had to do the lip table, which is always a bitch to do. Then I got paired with a newbie, which is more fucked. I also had to do another table. I got home passed 2am. FML. BBW needs to give me a gold star! Oh, my manager said this was the best table of the night, but that could be because of I gave her the bitch stare down around 1 am when she was nitpicking random shit in the store...

July 2nd

This is beautiful. Drive home from work.

The End Is Not Near...The End Is Here..

Split right down the middle. I was in intial shock today. I'm not going to lie, I'm really sad. While Ryan Ross pisses me off with his cocky attitude and his standoffish concert presence, he wrote good shit. Brendon is still around, thank god! That was the first thing my sister asked me today. My mom made a good point today, most bands don't stay together long. I went straight to The Beatles. They only lasted a handful of years. The Rolling Stones are the only ones that have lasted for so long... We'll see what happens with the new album...I cant wait to hear New Perspective.

My Heart

Live On

“Not a day goes by
When I’m not thinking of you
Even in my dreams

Love Haiku by Riley

Tomorrow

I Learned This The Hard Way

Relationships—of all kinds—are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but mostly it will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.

—	Kahlil Jamison

MY LIFE.

I’m really happy where I am. I’m happy that I’m not answerable to anyone, that I do what I want, when I want, I go wherever I want to go, and I spend my time as I please. My time, my money, they’re all mine. There is no reason for me not to be happy with this life. And yet, I know I do feel that tug of lonely. And it breaks me.

The First Rule...