It's Chilling

"Years and years have passed and I still find myself in love with the same person — the person I originally fell in love with, not whoever he is now, not the present version, but the ghost of the past, this phantom shadow of the person he used to be that constantly haunts me in my memories and often right before I fall asleep at night. I sometimes still hold my own arm at the center of my chest where his arm used to rest whenever we rested our own eyes on a very small bed only fit for one body but would fit two if one fit perfectly inside the other. And sometimes I lay a pillow by my side to fill that empty space, but it’s never the same, and it hasn’t been since and even when I lay him there, it still feels different because he’s different and I’m still the same girl wanting to be the ‘we’ we used to know, wanting to know what happened to that place I used to call home? I may never know and it all feels like a lifetime ago, but for some reason, I still can’t let go. I’ll always want him to be the someone he was before all of this and I’ll always want for us to be more, more than what we’ve become."