The Only Sane Person

"And you just have to be more optimistic about these things. If you radiate a positive energy, things will turn out positively. Dont stress over it."

I guess my biggest problem is that I listen to everyone else a bit more than I believe. I let the drama of other people relations with guys scare how mine will be. I think I was afraid about being the girl that waits around forever for something that doesn't even exist. When I'm me, when I do things the way I feel is right - it's fine. Then I get wrapped up in everyone's opinions and approval. I forget that half my friends don't care if you even know of their significant other. Why do I try so hard for them? I'm not saying that entirely why I've been going fucking crazy on him or my rapid mood swings. That's all fear. That I know effects a lot of what I do. But my best friend is right, positive thinking. I got this baller internship and I got a job with shoes! Ideally, life is good. Shit with the ex have been weird but good. I've make my attempts to be friendly, only cause I need to believe me and him can be friends. He's being more or less responsive. Hey, he answer my 1am emergency but didn't rescue me. Baby steps. I've stripped away the negative shit (people) that cause drama or like to bring me down from my life. Overall, I'm peachy. Whether I royally fucked up my chance for the goal with him- shit happens, life goes on. Like I've said, in the end - I can at least write him off as "hot guy friend."