Overshare

Things are meant to be private. No one knows what happens between two people besides those two people. I don't know what's going on in your head. I don't know what youre feeling, but its between us. I need to figure out what I'm willing to handle and not let my friends voices and concerns overpower my decisions. I think I'll give it the two weeks deadline to see what you give me. There's something. I'm not sure if I'm making it up or there really is. You made me cried. I swore I'd never let that happen, again. I mean I was drunk so does it count? Why don't I just let you go? I know better than this, I am better than this. I don't deserve the confusion but maybe this is somewhat normal? I've never done dating, normal dating. I wish this is stuff I can tell you. I'm not use to this. I'm use to spilling my guts on the floor and having 30 hour conversations over a concern. I'm use to this because I was in a relationship with a guy from when I was 14 and everything was dramatic and he was madly in love with me. I was use to this until this past winter when I looked at him after going one step too far and realizing I have no more tears for him. I don't have my emotional baggage anymore. I was expecting it to transfer to you because it's all I know. But, that's not right. I will tell you I don't want a relationship because the idea of falling for you and being broken again is too much to bare, even as a thought. Yes, I jump ahead. One of my many flaws. I rather have fun with you because I don't think I can let you in but you're too precious to let go. I need a sign. Yes, I believe entirely in signs and I desperately need one or need to move the fuck on.