Still Here, Still Standing

I cried today for the first time in a long time. Not streams, but the oceans I keep talking about or like a river bursting through a dam. My eyelids just couldn’t carry the weight anymore and everything I’ve felt in the past year just came spilling out. It was one of those good but terribly sad cries. One of those I needed to get out, but were salty from open wounds I am still holding onto to show as proof of what I’ve been through. But it was also one of those where I felt better after it happened — happier, relieved. Because the fact that I can feel anything is a reminder that I have survived enough to feel something that makes me still feel alive.