Project Sunflower

I did EXTREMELY terrible this semester.

I don't even know if I'm getting an A in JRN this semester. I was counting on that. AHHHH MY LIFE!
I can not believe I let this happen. I will do so much better next semester. I can't fuck this up. How will I ever get in NYU?!

I can bounce back from one bad semester. But I HAVE TO BOUNCE BACK BIG!
Like 4.0 status. And I can do this. I just don't fucking try.

That will not be the case. I will give my all.

This is my winter break though. I want to see him. Somehow.

You Overeat Wedged Food

IT'S FIVE IN THE MORNING !!

&& I HAVE NOT SLEPT YET!!


AND I HAVENT REALLY STUDIED.


FUUUUUUUUCK.



& all I can think about is Gatsby.

My High Came Crashing Down

I did not get into the Middle East Dialogue.
I failed my Math quiz which counts twice.
I got a 79 on my Italian Oral
Gatsby does not like me.


Well, least to say it's been a pretty shitty day. OH! I got two hours of sleep last night, yes..

I have a term paper to write all today for a book I haven't read yet.

I really just want to cry.

I think I'm going to call my mom crying.

I need to vent.

And I'm so embarassed that I didn't get into Dialogues that I don't want to mention to anyone here. I just want to curl up in bed and cry. I'm really very upset about it.

I don't think he likes me. Just not getting the vibe that he wants to talk at all. So I don't know. He ends the messages with statements. Which I read as, "okay I'll answer you but I don't want to know anything about you." We just fucked, nothing else involved.


I feel very numb right now.

urbandictionary.com

Amityville


A small-in-size but renowned-in-reputation village on the South Shore of Long Island, where you can find a plethora of lifeguards, bongs, surf-racks, and gossip. A place where you can't pee without the whole town finding out in an hour. The townies wear flip flops all year long, and beer pong is played, very competitvely, on any surface available. Everyone either owns a boat, belongs to a yacht club, swims, or at least goes to Robert Moses or Jones Beaches weekly during the summer. Everyone is athletically- or musically-inclined, and has unbeatable style. There is beef between private and public schooling, and a big distinction between the North and the South parts, but one thing about Amityville is certain either way: there is never a dull moment. So fucking cruise 80 miles an hour down Richmond, smoke down at Amityville Beach, stuff your face at Mike's and Blue T, pretend you don't drop into Brownstone's all the time, get your ass to the July 3rd Fair and the Christmas Tree Lighting, get big at Dolphin, wait in line for an hour at Better Bagel, and remember that this fucking Bay Village is a lot more than just Friendly.

Oh yeah, and there's always that house that random people stop us to look for.





No matter what, I LOVE my fucking town.
Life begins with L.I.
<3
that is all.

Taking Chances

Lauren just said this to me on AIM:

lalalaurenlol: (9:48:29 PM) honesly you've been thru too much with him to be like uh should i do it or not mb not, ur already in this he already knows u like him, u want him to know u like him thats a good thing bc u know he likes u and if u talk to him more than he will be amazed by ur awesomeness and fall for u bc really how could he not

lalalaurenlol: (9:48:44 PM) so just suck it up and be the bigger person bc what have u got to lose

lalalaurenlol: (9:49:21 PM) celine deion said it right when she said "what do u say to taking chances"

<3<3<3<3

Mad As Rabbits

I'm in class right now. She's always a little bit late so I figured I would write while I wait.

I just had my interview for the Middle East/Journalism Program for Summer 1. Ah, I was a little late and sweaty, great. They said we'll

 find out next week by Wednesday whether or not. I really don't know how the interview went. I really want this. More so than Gatsby.

I saw him again on Friday.

Edit Sorry I started writing this on Monday and it's Saturday now.

Anyways, I saw him and we hooked up again. We were drunk, sloppy but fun. We talked and such, good times. I will not admit that I like him out loud. He is completely enjoyable and very gorgeous. I can only wait and see if this progresses. 

I want to prove him wrong about all the other girls he's met before me.

I have to study for exams and do papers the next couple of days. I need to desperately do well on all my exams in hope of getting an above 3.0 gpa. I wanted so badly to do a 3.5 but that is not happening.

Next semester, I'll be on top of it. 

I know the library is 24 hours now.

I think I'll poke him on Facebook. Remind him. 

I'm watching a Harry Potter Marathon on ABC Family now. Life is good.

Everyone is going out tonight but me, and I'm completely happy with that. 

I need to go start some work. And the gym

FUCK, I WILL LOSE IT!

Christmas nonsense coming up. 

But I'm more concerned about New Year's. For the obvious reasons. Damnittt

CAN NOT WAIT UNTIL THIS MOVIE!