I Am Colorblind

Play It Again, Will You?

to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't think could be real.
to know that you feel the same as i do is a three-fold, Utopian dream.

you do something to me that I can't explain.
so would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

i see your picture.
i smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
you have only been gone ten days, but already i'm wasting away.
i know i'll see you again, whether far or soon.
but i need you to know that i care,

& i miss you.

Stories Across the Sky

lalalaurenlol: (9:32:53 PM) dont be seriously you have nothing to feel bad about... ur situation is def not like with pj bc for one u guys have done so much more and multiple times so obv he likes you in one way or another, and if he didnt then u would know he wouldve told u to back off or whatever... but i honestly dont think u have to do with anything he seems very much like a partier and likes to have fun and all that and u guys just established a hey lets hook up thing and it got too comfortable and thats a guys dream so he doesnt wanna lose that but u want more and i know that that really sucks but if ur really that fustrated then shouldnt that be enough to move on... as soon as u meet someone new ur gonna forget about him and believe me there are prob plenty of guys wanting for that opportunity bc you really are truely the most amazing and pretty and charming person i know, u dont have any idea how much i wish i was as cool as you, helloooo thats why i hang out with u figuring ill get points by associations lol... but honestly ur like the perfect girl im so shocked u dont have a bf now but i feel like ur too good for the boys uve met thus far... time heals all wounds and so do new boys and i hear boston boys rock haha

Defining Moments

"But the more words we invent, the harder it becomes to define things.
In a world where you can date without sex,
Screw without dating,
& in the end keep most of your sex partners as friends long after the screwing is over,
What really defines a relationship?"

I won't be having you as my birthday gift. How sad.


How sad of me depending the greatness of my birthday on your presence.




How I wish for a miracle. I wish for you to shock me and say you want me. You need me. Oh baby oh baby.


I really need a sign to let you go. For good. Please. I want to cry over you. But I'm not even sure you're worth it.

Eyes Fixed on the Horizon

Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds

Electric Feel

Shadow of the Day

"i don’t know if we’ll ever become more than we are right now, or if it won’t make the distance. this lack of prediction scares me on the inside. but if you ever need me, i’d be there for you no matter if we aren’t together or not.

i just hope you realize it one day, ‘cause it’s too risky to ever tell you"

I'm Just Wondering..

One In A Million

I need a REALLY good dress and a great pair of shoes for my birthday. Spending it alone isn't amazing. Come home...to me?

The Seven Year Itch

I am still missing some books and I feel it's already making me fall behind. I'm waiting for the mail.
I ordered boots from Bakers and FedEx it was delievered, yet I did not receive them. Now I'm kinda of nervous. I called FedEx and they said they would call back Tuesday, something about that's the day of operations. I'm thinking I should let Bakers know as well.

I'm going home this weekend. I'm taking Anna with me. I'm excited for her to meet my friends and stuff. I also want to see Gatsby before he leaves. Yet he doesn't know I'm coming back personally. I talked to him a bit this weekend through text. It makes me nervous now that PJ doesn't like Lauren. They both practically acted the same and Gatsby said how he doesn't want to mean to her cause she's a nice girl I'm wondering if he's trying to tell me something...fuck!

I'm reading the Art of Seduction. Can I use this now with him? Or is it too late?

I.DON'T.LIKE.HIM

I keep having to tell myself that. It's part of the trick.

Well I think that's it for now. I have some work to do and news to read. Woo!

my newest obsession.<3

If We Took A Holiday...

Yeah, I suck and haven't written in hear since last semester. I'm not in the mood at this moment to update but I swear I'll write down all the shit that went down.

I'm back at school. I'm relatively happy to be here. Except I don't want to go to classes and I missed my first class this morning. I say its excused because I just my period last night and eh I was just feeling overall crappy this week.

Me and Deanna have decided to restart our new year. Starting yesterday. Well I kinda of already fucked up. Mine was to lose the weight and to be better in school. Basically stop being so fucking lazy. We gave each other a deadline for Jan 26 to lose 6lbs. Shouldnt be hard to a determined person. And that's what I need to become. So I'm hoping that I'm only 140 so that would make me 134. But I'm probably more unfortunately.

Why would Gatsby ever want to be with me like that if I'm not even happy with myself?

Shit needs to change. I'm at a standstill. I'm not bettering myself. New Year. 2008 was good to me on the drama level but I didn't grow at all as a person. Nope, 2009 is all about my personal growth. Especially since I'm finally free of the fucked up relationship with Hairo and I can truly say, I'm alone and I don't love anyone right now. I like someone. But whatever. I'm single. This is what I've been waiting for.