Sunday, March 29, 2009

Such Great Heights

There's something liberating about when you feel free from your past and the pain of being hurt by someone you so passionately loved. 

I may never love someone else the way I loved you. I know I won't. I'm not looking to replace you.

Yes, I loved you to the end of the world. But, I was careless and couldn't handle the situation. I was a child. I think over the past year, I let you go and finally put you away. While, it's taken me years to even get here, I am here. I always say I'm over you, well this is a process for me. Sorry I can't be like you. But this past year, with the experiences I've had and the people I've met, pieces of you inside of me have faded away. I don't know right now if you're completely gone, but I do know I'm a step closer to never feeling that pain again. 

I don't need to hurt you to feel better about myself. That's something I've learned won't help me. I also don't need to know anything about you, because that's useless. 

I say you were fortunate enough to have an extra person in your life who cared for your well-being, even if you didn't want it. There can never be enough love in the world. 

My biggest accomplish was that I don't care of what you think of me anymore. I secretly wanted you to fall back in love with me. I know that'll never will happen. Not because I don't deserve your love. Because, it simply won't. 

My outlook on life, my poise, my philosophies, my attitude, my appreciate for everything stems from my experience with you. I will be grateful for that, secretly. I look at where my life and ideals were headed, it flabbergast me. I don't think I would have ever gotten off course if it wasn't for that pain caused by our relationship.

So yes, there is a reason for everything. Yes, there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. I was in the darkness for the longest time. A period in my life I'm happy I've lived through. A period that was so dark, it now only feels like a nightmare. Then I entered the shadow of the light and lingered. I didn't want to let go. I put myself through more torture because I didn't know how to do anything else but be in love with you. But then, I felt the warmth of the rays and I finally made my way to the next stage. 

I've never came back from the pain well, because I finally became me. 

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Friday, March 27, 2009

It Knocks You Down

"say u gotta put the good with the bad, 
happy & the sad.
so will u bring a better future 
than i had in the past?
oh 'cause, i don’t wanna make 
the same mistakes i did. 
i don’t wanna fall back on my face again. 
i’ll admit it, i was scared to answer love's call 
& if it hits better make it worth the fall"

-Keri Hilson

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Ya No Te Veo

I was reading my old livejournal entires. Every one of them had to do with Hairo. Yikes. Now on Blogger, it's all about Gatsby. Apparently his BFF is concerned with my status with him over a stupid text message. I'm not sure how to take all of this. Whether I'm reading too much into it, or not enough? I miss hanging with them. They were a lot of fun. Theyre new. Theyre just mine too. They don't know my past and the people I want to leave there. I appreciate that more than anyone can really understand. I'm slowly leaving it all there and moving on. Unfortunately, some friendships will be torn as well. If you don't make the effort to call me, than I see that as not worth it. I learned not to fight over something. I won't ever do it again. You can bet on that.

The Next Best Thing

The City Never Sleeps


"i wanted a perfect ending. 
now i’ve learned, the hard way, 
that some poems don’t rhyme, 
and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. 
life is about not knowing, having the change, 
taking the moment and making the best of it, 
without knowing what’s going to happen next. 
delicious ambiguity.”

— gilda radner

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Perks of Being A Wallflower

i want my best friend back. so badly. but i can't contact him because he screwed me over big time

Monday, March 9, 2009

I Can Be Sexy?

I can't remember the last time a guy made me smile the way you did. 



Those nights couldn't just be it. It has to be more. I just know it. Do you? 

I Want It Back

Do You Even? I Don't Know.

I Believe In You

Cruel Intentions